Sunday, 6 August 2017

My Everything.

You were. You are. You will always be.
My best friend. My boyfriend. Love of my life.
My world and my everything you are!

'Do you have any idea, how much you mean to me'? I always want to ask you this question.
The little things that makes me happy are your long tight hugs, cute texts, little surprises & the deep conversations, I can never explain how do i feel when you sing me our dearest songs.
When we grow old together, we will look back at the ways we argued about many things that were so insignificant and we’ll laugh and understand that our love was strong enough to overcome every argument.
I just want you to know that I'm thankful that you came into my life and I will love you till the end of my day
I want to stay in bed all day and do nothing. I want to watch crazy romantic movies and cry my heart out  during the pause listening to the emotional music. I sometimes want us to stay outside all day. Stay out all night. I want to find a quiet cafe, write poetry for you sitting next to you.
Do things which we always wanted to do together. I want to take care of you, all life.

Me to you,
You to me.

You are that one person with whom I can share anything with. You glide like a dream in my heart
I would curse myself if I'm not able to frankly express any of my feelings with you.

Though I'm in the crowd,
I still feel alone.
because of your absence!

I always have so many stories to tell you, who is going to listen to them if you don't? They say that a relationship is the best in the beginning but soon, the love fades away.
Oh. but that's not true. I fall in love with you all over again and again everyday. I love you more than yesterday but less than tomorrow. 

The magic of love make my heart thump
And I fly high in the sky.
Is it the friendship of smiles or
Is it the fragrance of forever love.

Do you know, where is the place that is pleasant than the peaceful? I would say its the path we walk.

Even when it was my fault, you apologize to me. I annoy you a lot, at times i fight with you over little things. You always seem to understand when I've had a bad day. It's amazing,when you show interest in the little things about me. You are not just being my boyfriend, my love but my best friend. My heart says I'm nothing but you!
It's unforgettable memories in the heart! i would be with myself if you are with me without you nothing goes right with me! 

Nothing in this beautiful world is more important to me than you, my love.

In the sunshine, in rain
In the happiness & sorrow
We were,
We are,
We will,
Always be together.

When it comes to US, "Forever is the only word"

Saturday, 1 July 2017

Someday . . . You realize.

Someday, you realize how deeply she loved you for who you are. How she used to make you chuckle, smile and laugh until you had tears in your bright eyes, which now are dull and lifeless without her presence in your life.
Today you lost all the hope in your life. Once upon a time, she was there with you to conquer your negative thoughts. She made sure that you feel good always.

Do you remember the words she spoke to you? Even in the silence, she used to speak to you in the thousand different ways.
Once she said 'You are the star in my eyes' And today, when you look up at the sky, all the stars remind you of her and the words she spoke with so much of love in enthusiastic voice with you.
Maybe, someday you realize how perfect she was. One day, you may realize that she truly cared for you, loved you and only you. You were the only one she talked to all day long yet she longed to hear your voice, missed you always.
She refused to give up on you. when you asked her to move on, she cried and cried until there were no tears left in her eyes. Oh! Why did you do that?

No matter how much you pushed her away, she always came back to you. No, it's not because she was weak. Not because of any reasons which you thought then. But for the reasons which you probably think of today. And now, it's too late.
Do you remember all the words she spoke and the things that she has done for you? How good she really was! To be honest, there was nothing wrong with her. She only loved you more. More and more by each passing moment of life.

Do you know, how much she always believed in you? Oh she did, more than you could ever possibly understand. She never asked you for anything. You always heard her saying 'I have you & that's enough for me.'
Her eyes got all excited to see you, her voice sent shivers down to your spine. Though you were the most annoying person at times, you were adored the most by her. She said corny things and that made you smile for a while. Yes, she got mad on you. A lot! But now, you realized that she was only worried. She told you about her day in detail, she talked to you for hours, she spoke to you about many things, about her favorite book for a minute and then, how boring her day really was without you.
She was always there for you, all the time so you don't forget how much you mean to her. But sadly, one day you forgot. Many things! The little things that she did for you with broad smiles.

She is the light that leads
and an anger that forgives.

she waited for you to talk when you were busy, Yes, maybe she had hurt you a little with her words or by avoiding you for an hour. But you know, right? She cared!
Many times, she went to sleep sick to her stomach and cried all night. On the following day, she messaged you first as always but there was some change in her behavior. She said nothing to you but you understood. Emojis were missing next to her texts. You knew how crazily she loved those cute hairless emojis. You were the only one that made everything better in her life. But one day, you left! You wanted to escape, you stopped saying the things which mattered the most for her. Which were required and needed on the worst days/ She longed to hear those three words from you every single day. but you said nothing. You lost all the interest, all of a sudden. or maybe slowly.

No, you were not avoiding her or said 'I hate you' but there was something missing which she knew. because she was the only person who knew you. The real you! your secrets, plans and the worst side of you. Yet she didn't leave you. She never wanted too.
Minutes, hours and days passed by. You stopped expressing your feelings, stopped talking about your day with her, or maybe there was no love to express and nothing to share? Why! Why did you change yourself? Was it for your good?

You left her alone, many times! She was bored. She was depressed. but it was all okay. She managed, she forgave you always. But never in her wildest of dreams she thought that you would leave her alone, forever!

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will. She always said sorry, she talked to you, she discussed, she cried, she changed herself, she made you right when you were not, she helped you every time. When you needed her the most, she was always there for you. and made you smile broadly when you were feeling worst.

You were a very different guy, you were not a bit close to her in many things. She had her own favorite colors, her own favorite TV shows, her own life. And then you came into her life. You changed everything. So much has changed in her life. Her favorite color has changed, she started loving all the things you love the most on this earth.
She never expected to fall in love with you. But as days passed by she raised in love with you only to fall again.

Yes, there were days, when she called you and you do not pick the call; one day, when you were ill she wasn't not there to take care of you; most of the nights, when she cried until her eyes were empty, you were not there to give your shoulder and wipe her tears.

Didn't she give you the best in life? Just think, think about her for a while! You realize so many things that she did for you. She changed you, got the best out of you, she always understood you, if not always then yes, most of the times she did and you realize it someday. Maybe, you did.

She is 'A Rare Soul', which you realized once she left.

People like her are difficult to find. Hold on to them! If you have someone like her, cherish & never let them go, don't take them for granted. Love, Love from the bottom of your heart!

Thursday, 22 June 2017

Depression, Positivity & Life

There are all kinds of reasons why so many people in the world are depressed, sad or scared.
According to one of the surveys done, around three children in each school classroom are experiencing some form of mental health problem. Between 1 in every 12 and 1 in 15 children and young people deliberately self-harm.
There has been a big increase in the number of young people being admitted to hospital because of self-harm. Over the last ten years this figure has increased a lot.
As per the research, most adults with mental health problems first experienced problems in childhood. Less than half were treated appropriately at the same time.
72% of children in care have behavioral or emotional problems - these are some of the most vulnerable people in our society. Most of them want someone to give them the hope for the better future, a good life and a person to greet with a happy smile on the face with a positive mind.
95% of imprisoned young offenders have a mental health problem. Many of them are struggling with more than one problem.

If some very bad things have happened to us, we will probably think that bad things will happen again. If people have hurt us in the past, we may probably be scared that it might happen again. Sometimes, Some people get so sad or scared that they need help. We may get so sad or scared that it changes the way our brains work. We may sometimes ask doctors to help us but this doesn't really work very well for most of the people.

We should try to help ourselves by understanding why the bad things that happen to us can make us feel sad and scared. We need to talk to people who are into the depression and finds it really tough to get out of it. We need to talk to try to help them understand that they can do lots of things to help themselves. We need to help them understand that they can think about the world in so many different ways. We, human beings don't always need an intelligent mind that speaks, but a patient heart that listens. Supportive relationships are very much needed. Know that. the small acts of kindness can be as powerful as very big donations.

Look around, look within
Be creative
Think positive
Speak gently
Learn daily
Be polite
Help others
Live, love and laugh &
Most importantly 'Be Kind'

Have a look around, look at other people's problems, help them overcome the issues and perhaps if you get stuck someday, somehow, for whatever reason, when you find your life stressful, try your own ways to feel better. 
Always be kind and love a little more, people may try to discourage you, some may have the worst intentions about you and its okay. Sometimes, a kick motivates us better than a pat on our back.

We really do shape our lives through our thoughts. Don't let the negativity in your mind ruin your own life. Life is beautiful, problems and challenges are necessary, we need to tackle the difficulties of life. We learn to walk by falling, and sometimes even the tragedies can turn into triumphs. Always allow the hope to live in your heart!
Read, think, debate and learn. Bring hope, beauty, unity, and joy into yours and others life.

Don't always question, 'What If I fail? What If I fall?' Oh! but darling, 'What if you fly?'
For every blocked path, there is an open one. We were all messed up at some point in our life, always keep hoping for the possibilities. Make a promise to yourself, to do better.
Act to create good out of bad. Try to do what you love as often as possible. Take one step, then another. Understand that pain and problems are not permanent.

Take a break, sit back, relax and enjoy the music. Say sorry. smile more and be happy. Forgive, forget and live and most importantly be strong.
You have the right to cry and scream but never give up. Believe in yourself, you're the best. Discover the fulfillment in the acts that you do, make peace with your own self and your purpose. Refuse to let your fears hold you back.

Once you realize you don't have to prove anything to everyone in life, but to yourself, life gets easier, clearer, more enjoyable, and makes much more sense.
Have faith in your future, appreciate your own value, maintain a positive attitude. You should never think failures as finals. What lies ahead maybe far better than anything you ever thought possible.
Success in everything is born out of struggle
Wear your passion, live your dream
Travel often, make memories
And know how to act
Happiness in life is to love and be loved truly.

You know? 'Life's best gifts are free' 

Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Hey Dad.

Hey Dad, when I was a kid, as you spoke, you combed my hair with your fingers, I always loved it when you did that. That feeling, it was way very much better than anything.
When I was a little girl, i said so much to you. Sometimes i knew it was stupid to say some things but i said it anyway.
And today, why does my mind not stop asking the questions!
I had lost all the interest in everything about my life. My heart has been ripped out of my body, when I saw you with the blood, I saw you taking your last breathe. I saw you struggling hard on the same bed where you caressed my hair.
Your hugs were my favorite. Today, I hug my pillow and imagine it's you. When you left this world, I felt the empty feeling. My legs felt weak, I kneel down on the floor and cry hard when I'm alone. I cried and cried, till my eyes were empty. I didn't just cry, I howled.

Today, I lifted my glass a little bit higher to cover more of my face, when i was with my friends in the nearby coffee shop, sipping coffee and staring at a child holding her dads fingers firmly and smiling. However, it didn't help, my body shook as i started to cry once i went back to my room.

In the hopeless moments, I decided that to end my pain. I had to end my life. When I look at our pictures, I feel dizzy, I press my feet hard on the floor to keep my balance. Everything we did together comes running into my mind.
You left, I realized a lot!

Taking the deep breathes, thinking about you, I close my eyes tightly and try to sleep. The dark ceiling looks similar to the darkness in my heart. Many times, I whisper 'Hey Dad, I love you', my voice breaking!

I never cried in front of the people, talking about you. But before speaking, whenever I had to talk about you. I always took a breathe because I knew that I was so close to crying and the time to runaway from others. Back to my world, my room, and on to my bed or onto the terrace. where i often sit quietly, thinking about you. about us. sometimes, I felt like screaming!

Most of the times, my stomach eyes and the heart were hurt badly. I ended up crying about everything that went wrong. I'm going through some kind of a pain from last four and half years. On your birthday, I kept smiling at the moon and crying at the same time. Have you heard me saying, 'Hey Dad, I miss you'?

The songs i hear, the movies i watch, so many things in the world reminds me of you.
Enjoying the view from the building, standing under the broad beautiful sky and opening my arms wide, I wonder, where you are!

I heard people saying that, after the death one becomes a star. Believing so, I walk up alone in the night to stare at the glowing stars and the shimmering moon. 'Hey Dad, are you there'? I question!

I'm here, in our memories shedding the tears. You left me alone and my heart is paining. The sad music reminds me of you. People of your age reminds me of you, their smiles and the talks. I find pieces of you in many things. I remember that last look you gave me, the way you stared at me for a minute and away from the ambulance window. 'Dad, you tried hard not to cry yet you cried.' I saw the tears rolling down to your face. I walked out silently, touching your hands gently. And then, I'm the only person who knows what happened to me in those moments. Only if I could write down all my feelings, I would write it all. But I know, no words can describe the pain I felt.
'Hey Dad,' No words can ever explain how much I miss you and love you.

You went as far as you could,
Far behind the states,
Far behind the countries,
Far behind the world.
Staring at the blank hush sky,
Looking at those shining stars,
I wish, someday you will come back
To me, as my son.